Needless to say, I did not make it through NaNoWriMo. Not enough discipline or motivation. Very quickly after that first week, I stopped writing (on paper) altogether, although the mental writing never ends.
Through the winter I added very little to my main novel idea and wrote even less. Finally I stopped harassing myself and gave myself permission to do other things without feeling guilty. Granted, those things weren’t particularly productive, but hey, sometimes those are the things you need to do.
Now I’m staring May in the face and I’ve finally started to get the writing bug again. This time with a different story in a different world. I’ve been world building like mad in my head and even started reading several books on writing science fiction. Orson Scott Card’s How to Write Science Fiction and Ochoa & Osier’s The Writer’s Guide to Creating a Science Fiction Universe if you’re interested. Card sticks with the generalities while Ocoa & Osier get much more into the details. The nagging fear that this will be another incomplete project tugs at me already. I sat down with a group of friends who are science fiction geeks and we hashed out a lot of things that I had gotten stuck on. Heaven above, who knew that everything I’d been thinking of had already been done in one way or another. Thankfully, my friends provided encouragement and were interested in my ideas. One of them had a fantastic idea when I mentioned I have a terrible time with plot. He suggested I start with short stories about side characters to get me going. That seemed simple and brilliant. I now have to develop something that has always eluded me, discipline.
Meanwhile, I’m having to search for a house in real life. I have two months before my current lease is up and the seeking has frustrated me terribly. I get irritated with my lack of writing discipline and the ever ellusive perfect house at the perfect price so I do the little kid thing. I push it all away and play video games. That’s useful, right? Nope, not at all. But entertaining nonetheless.